John Lennon once said, “Life is what happens when you are busy making other plans.” A culture raised on the grass-is-greener principal, in a country indoctrinated in the church of hard work dogma, is it any wonder that while we hurriedly prepare for life’s next big event and advertisers magnify this sense of longing in us, the second niyama, santosha or contentment, is constantly just out of reach. Yoga reveals the path to the innate calm and abiding stillness that we are.
Patanjali states in Sutra 2.5, “Lacking self-awareness, one
mistakes that which is impermanent, impure, distressing and empty of self for
permanence, purity, happiness, and self.”
This ignorance weds us to a perpetual wheel of suffering. We think we are free but in truth, we
spend vast amounts of energy clinging to that which gives us pleasure and
avoiding that which puts our pleasure at risk or we see as repulsive. Further, we expect our preferences to
be a source of eternal bliss yet their achievement is often anti-climatic or
disappointing and, without much ado, we are off striving after the next “if
only” key to supreme happiness. Yoga philosophy tells us that all things are
inherently neutral. The
full spectrum of sensation, energy, emotion and thought are simply exquisite
feedback mechanisms aiding us in our journey to become sensitive and effective
caretakers of our being. It is our
personalized labels that color experiences in a way that makes them appealing
or repulsive and keeps us spinning.
All this maneuvering between pleasure and avoidance shows up as the
physically feeling of gripping in the body. The first nine months of my relationship was long
distance. Each time my boyfriend
and I would have the chance to see each other there was a simultaneous clinging
to the joy of being together and a tense defense against the unpleasantness of
our inevitable parting. Seeking
and avoiding are expensive uses of our energy that result in a failure to
appreciate the moment. Yoga Nidra
teacher, Richard Miller, offers that in order to set energy free to experience
the moment, we not only agree to ride life’s waves but we actively welcome
them. As Bob Marley put it, “Some
people feel the rain. Others just
get wet.” We can always trace our
emotional disturbances back to ourselves and thus, we keep ourselves out of the contentment we so desperately seek.
The 13th century mystic poet Jelaluddin Rumi
expresses this coalescence of extremes:
Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a
field. I’ll meet you there.
When the soul lies down in that grass,
The world is too full to talk about.
Ideas, language, even the phrase each other doesn’t make any sense.
Finding and remaining in this place of equanimity is simple
but not easy. As with most things,
it takes consistent practice over a long period of time. Each time we step onto
the yoga mat we have an opportunity to cultivate contentment by genuinely
listening to the many cues our body/mind offers and choosing to honor that
feedback by modifying or intensifying the pose as appropriate. This is done without comparison to what
the pose looked like yesterday or in anticipation of what it will look like
tomorrow. The balance of effort and ease in any given yoga posture is a
constantly changing dance with the breath. Quoting the late master teacher
Pattabhi Jois, “Yoga is an internal practice. The rest is just a circus.” An advanced practitioner hovers on the cusp of his or her
intelligent edge of sensation - a place that is neither too much nor too little.
Contentment also requires a healthy dose of surrendering to
the great many things in life that we cannot control. There is a paradox to contentment: the more we seek it or
need it to look a certain way, the more it eludes us. It is easy to feel happy when life is going our way but what
about when chaos abounds?
Discontentment is the illusion that there can be something else in the
moment. There isn’t. The moment is complete exactly as it
is. The paradox of contentment
allows us to appreciate what we have and to fall in love with our life. Next time you are feeling bored,
depressed or overwhelmed consider making a gratitude list. Whether mental or hand-written, list
everything for which you are grateful. From
the moon and stars to the shoes on your feet nothing is too small. I have a gratitude jar. In it are little reminders of life’s
fullness that I will review at the year’s end. Practicing gratitude cultivates the fertile soil for
contentment to take root by keeping us centered in the joy and abundance of our
life. Contentment is like a tall tree so rooted in the Earth no storm can
topple it.