Transition

This morning I took a class at my new home studio, Mountain Yoga. The teacher encouraged us to move through the transitions between postures with awareness and intention in order to liberate the body/mind from the dullness of habit and momentum. She offered this theme as a metaphor for life's constantly changing set of circumstances. Having recently relocated from Seattle, WA to South Lake Tahoe,CA, I met this metaphor with curiosity and willingness.

This major life/work transition has been an opportunity to strip away the many filters through which I see the world and to examine the various external influences through which I find relevance, purpose and meaning in life. This self-reflexivity, in conjunction with the total absence of routine inherent in a change of scenery, resulted in a loss of momentum accompanied, and perhaps fed, by a nagging sense of grief and loss surrounding my move. This genuine longing is not tainted with regret or resent yet, inertia has a certain gravity and I found myself grappling with existential questions like, "Who am I?" and "What is my purpose?"

In times like this, I am grateful for the Yoga practice and philosophy. Through this morning's practice of mindful transitions, I was reminded of the unchanging truth, light and wisdom of the Self. My faith renewed, a deep sense of knowing spontaneously usurped the wheel of suffering and I was able to ask myself the question, "What does the Seer see?" This question is the cornerstone of the Yoga tradition. When the Seer sees clearly one realizes that much of what we think we know is actually mired with misperception, fantasy, opinion, ignorance and projection. This is not a judgement, it is merely how humans are hardwired. Practice, active surrender and a heavy dose of recognition that there is actually very little that we can control is one way to re-wire the system. Non-attachment is often confused with apathy. On the contrary, when properly understood and cultivated, it is the ability to plan and set goals free of the chains of expectation. Simple, but not easy, it has the ring of a nightmare in which I stand naked, vulnerable and scared in the front of a grade school classroom of old. But, the invaluable rewards provide tools that skillfully enable one to negotiate life's ripples, waves and tsunamis.

Ultimately this is why I practice: to see each moment clearly, to be with what is just as it is, and to be comfortable with the discomfort of not knowing. I recognized that a great many of my students, peers and mentors over the years have come to yoga in a period of transition. Others, have weathered still more challenging situations with grace through dedicated practice. Yoga is the perfect microcosm, the ideal research platform and the richest soil in which to nurture and develop the truths that will eventually blend seamlessly into the space beyond the mat.

Intention

I am very much looking forward to the 108 Sun Salutation Workshop this weekend at Taj Yoga from 10:00 a.m. to 12:30 p.m.

As I mentioned in the workshop description, your intention is far more important than the sheer number of salutations you complete. You will no doubt hit physical and emotional walls and I encourage you to modify and rest whenever necessary. Let us follow the first tenant of yoga, ahimsa, non-violence. Because the intention is so important, I thought I'd share a bit more about how to go about creating or setting an intention. Even if you are not participating in the workshop, this information sheds light on the subject and applies to intentions set in regular classes as well as special events such as a yoga mala.

Your intention can address whatever you are feeling in the moment, the moment we begin our journey toward 108. For example, the other day, after sitting and welcoming what was present for my practice I decided my intention would be, "I am patient and gentle (with myself)." Your intention can be that specific and relate to the particular practice at hand or it can be more overarching and general. For example, "I am love" or "I am love itself." I like to use present tense language that expresses intention as an already occurring phenomenon. As my teacher states, in this way, "We don't hold our wishes for the future, but express them as truth." Overall, an intention is a short and positive statement or affirmation about something you are whole-heartedly dedicated to manifesting, living and be-ing. It can even be one word. You might show up Saturday with this intention already determined.

Your intention can also be in the form of a dedication. Perhaps there is someone or something in your life that would benefit from the energy and awareness your practice will cultivate?

Lastly, your intention may involve the 'healing' or 'transforming' of a particular relationship you have with someone else. In my experience, in these types of situations, it has been best to focus on my own personal healing around the relationship. This is the only piece of the puzzle that I have even the slightest bit of control over anyway. The intention could be an inquiry into how this might best be done? Or, if you know what needs to be done, if anything, your intention could center around to be-ing the strength/compassion/forgiveness/etc. to honor your heart's desire?

The Brihadaranyaka Upanishad states "You are what your deep driving desire is. As your desire is, so is your will. As your will, so is your deed. As your deed, so is your destiny." The trick with all intentions is not to be attached to the outcome. Often times things 'heal' or manifest in unexpected ways and at unexpected times. I choose to trust, however, that through the tapas (fire, heat or intensity) of committed and regular practice, transformation occurs in subtle and obvious ways. We label these results as pleasant and unpleasant, good and bad and therein lies the root of suffering.

We will certainly generate a large amount of tapas through the practice of 108 Sun Salutations. I think perhaps my intention will to become aware of what comes from the ash of the fire......

If you are moved to bring a small token, photography or clipping to place in front of your mat as a symbol or reminder of your intention, please do =)

Please let me know if you have any questions.

Namaste

Where There's a Yin There's a Yang

To define Yin Yoga one must first have an understanding of Yang Yoga. That’s usually how it goes; two opposites come together like perfectly matched puzzle pieces to create a seamless and well balanced whole. A Yang Yoga practice is characterized by vigorous heat building sequences and a strong focal point, usually the sensation of the breath and body moving together. There are many other words used to define this approach including, vinyasa, flow, power and hot yoga. The majority of the classes I offer at Taj Yoga in the Crown Hill neighborhood of Seattle, Washington fall into the yang category. LauraNidra Yoga marries the Ashtanga and Universal traditions of Yoga to generate heat or intensity (tapas) in body and mind. Though I do offer weekly Yin Yoga and Yoga Nidra classes, it makes sense that majority of the classes follow the yang model; we spend so much time in our head that it can take a physically challenging class to bring awareness to the body. The body is an excellent place to start, however, as it is lovely window to the more subtle layers of our being, energetic, emotional and intellectual.

When practicing Yoga of any form there is always an opportunity to notice the subtle and sometimes obvious ways in which the body embodies all of our experiences, physical, mental, emotional, energetic and even chemical (i.e. what you put in the body). Have you ever been practicing a pose, say pigeon, and suddenly been overwhelmed with the urge to cry right then and there in the middle of class for no apparent reason? This is what I’m talking about. A teacher that graced my study of Yoga for a short period once shared that the physical body is in the shape of the energetic body. The energetic body is not limited to the breath but is a coalescence of every experience you have ever had right up until the eternal moment of now. The physical body is a living map of this history and we each vibrate, or AUM if you will, at a unique frequency.

In a perfect world we would have ample time to process and integrate each experience physically, energetically and often emotionally. Unfortunately, we don’t often have or make the time for this important work and the body, in effort to compensate and perhaps protect, forges alliances that don’t always serve us. For example, long after the physical body has healed from a particular trauma it may still hold onto the past in a way that manifests as physical guarding, stiffness or pain. Note that physical injury not required and this can happen with the occurrence of emotional or psychological trauma alone. Left unattended for several years this can start to interfere with the life we desire to live, physically and energetically, and can create serious dis-ease. I’m not criticizing. We haven’t the built in ‘shake it off’ system discussed by Peter Levine in his book ‘Waking the Tiger;’ an animal instinct literally hardwired into a dear, for example, after narrowly escaping the hypnotizing spell of headlights. Dr. Holly Hochstadt of Inner Brilliance Chiropractic once shared that these areas of discomfort are stored potential, energy and brilliance. I agree and this knowing encourages me to safely inquire into the parts of my body that whisper and sometimes yell at me for attention. The body is wise and the light that lives within in it shines brighter when we listen and welcome it just as it is.

I digress.

If Yang Yoga helps us to establish an awareness of the multidimensionality of our physical presence, Yin Yoga helps us to reinforce it. In my practice I have found that Yin Yoga can be just as intense as its more dynamic counterpart, if not more so. I have also found that constant movement, like music, can be a distraction or a tool for avoiding the proverbial skeletons in our hips, shoulders, bellies and jaws. Yin Yoga is a quite and contemplative practice done low to the ground using a receptive field of awareness. Holding poses for an extended period of time is one of the signature characteristics of a yin practice. What starts out as a juicy and delightful stretch can quickly turn into an agitating and anxiety-provoking trap. My Ashtanga and Yin teacher, Troy Lucero, is always careful to note the difference between agitation and true-violence or suffering and injury. Usually, if I am honest with myself, my desire to leap out of the pose, screaming, crying or sometimes both, is a result of the former. And so with no other choice, I go deep into the heart of the sensation.

Remember the lyrics to the childhood song, ‘Going on a Lion Hunt?’

Going on a lion hunt. I’m not afraid. Look, what’s ahead? Yikes, fill in the blank! Can’t go over it. Can’t go under it. Can’t go around it. Gotta go through it.

This is the passive-active process my Yoga Nidra teacher Richard Miller calls welcoming. Richard also shares that every sensation, emotion, thought and belief points in the direction of our True Nature. So, it seems, that it is in our best interest to welcome the full spectrum of sensation in order to meet Rumi in his non-dualistic field beyond right-doing and wrong-doing.

If you’ve read this far and you’re still looking for hard facts regarding the physical benefits of a Yin Yoga practice, I suggest you read Paul Grilley’s “Yin Yoga.” Grilley shares that Yang Yoga focus on the muscles through rhythmic movements while Yin Yoga focus on the connective tissue through slow moderate stretching. Muscles are filled with fluids, mostly water, and become soft and elastic during all forms of yang exercise. Connective tissue (truly all pervasive in the body but for Grilley’s purposes refer to ligaments and fascia), on the other hand, lack the fluidity of muscles and, as a result, are naturally stiff and inelastic. Grilley states, “Connective tissue doesn’t respond to rhythmical stretches the way muscles do. Connective tissues are tough and fibrous and stretch best when pulled like taffy (i.e. slow and steady)…Further, in order to stretch the connective tissue, the muscles must be relaxed.” Grilley continues, “As important as it is to our physical and mental well-being to be strong it is not muscular strength that gives us the feeling of ease and lightness in the body, it is the flexibility of the joints, of the connective tissue.” He cites that it is joint pain not muscular injury that causes old people to hobble around and professional athletes to retire. In the end, Yin and Yang Yoga compliment each other as well as the ancient symbol but Yin Yoga specifically, through gentle stretching, rehabilitates the connective tissues that form our joints and leave us feeling an incredible lightness of being.

If nothing more, practices such as Yoga Nidra and Yin Yoga are excellent opportunities to rest in stillness and restore the nervous system. I know I am constantly going, teaching, working, organizing and doing. I spend a lot of time in the sympathetic nervous system and, as a result, in a perpetual shade of flight or flight. The one or two times a week that I intentionally come to a full stop are rich and rewarding on so many levels. Taking time to surrender and let go is vital if we are to be able to harness the full power of our sympathetic nervous system in times of true emergency. We all know what happens to the Shepard boy who cried wolf. Quite practices such as these move the body deep into the parasympathetic nervous system allowing the adrenaline and cortisol valves to turn off and the feel good, healing hormones such as serotonin to flood the body. This immediately lowers stress, reduces heart rate and blood pressure, strengthens the immune system and lifts overall mood. This is the post-savasana bliss we all know and love!! Finally, an addiction we can feel good about. After an hour of sympathetic nervous system based Yang Yoga the body is primed and ready to sink deep into relaxation. Conversely, an hour of Yin Yoga can prepare the mental and energetic bodies for an even more profoundly present moving meditation or Yang style class. The Yin and the Yang are truly inseparable; where there’s a Yin there’s always a Yang.

Support LauraNidra Yoga

Namaste,

I have the good fortune to see many of you on a regular basis. Others I am grateful to bump into from time to time. There are several of you, however, that I have not connected with in an embarrassingly long period of time. This email is two-fold in its intention: 1) to re-establish and nourish a sense of community 2) to update you on my professional doings. I believe in the power of community and acknowledge that I wouldn't be doing what I feel is my personal calling without the support and encouragement of those of you who keep showing up in a myriad of ways to affirm my life's path. Further, I believe that a balance of giving and receiving is integral to the health and success of the community at large. I invite you to consider sharing with me your doings as well as what I can do to support you in the resolution of your goals and aspirations.

Just over a year ago I stepped out of a very comfortable and rewarding role as a free-lance yoga instructor at several prominent yoga studios in Seattle in order to establish myself as an independent yoga professional and the owner of LauraNidra Yoga. Needless to say, the past year has had its fair share of personal and professional ups and downs. The experience has been quite humbling. I have had to dig deep into my reserves of strength, perseverance and trust in order to keep putting one foot in front of the other. I am reassured by the knowledge that my experience is not unique and that thousands of small business owner's are faced with similar issues on a daily basis. I am not one to look back with regret so, when I reflect on the unfolding of events that have brought me to this moment, I see a great deal of positives. I see how my teaching has grown. I also see how students have been affected by this evolution. I see a beautiful community of practitioners that express mutual agreement about the value of yoga through their presence alone and in the small gestures of kindness that range from a smile to a supportive email. I recognize the growing pains my teaching has undergone and sense the clarity of voice that is emerging like wings from the chrysalis.

LauraNidra Yoga offers an Ashtanga and Universal inspired practice that marries classic form with contemporary creativity. Of course, LauraNidra Yoga wouldn't be complete without the influence of Yoga Nidra which is woven into each class. LauraNidra Yoga's signature style MOVES you into STILLNESS. I currently offer 7 ongoing classes a week at Taj Yoga in Crown Hill/North Ballard. Yoga Nidra Meditation continues to be offered the 1st and 3rd Sunday of the month at 7:00 p.m. My events schedule is full of exciting events that will provide opportunities to deepen your practice, play in mother nature and experience yoga in the context of a new and different culture. Please consider visiting my website for more information or subscribe to LauraNidra News for monthly email updates.

Yoga offers an array of wellness benefits. With regular practice Yoga can reduce stress, bolster the immune system, increase strength, endurance and flexibility, balance energy levels and promote clarity of thought and communication. Yoga can also enhance other areas of your life be it gardening, biking, academics or other creative endeavors and leave you feeling comfortable and confident in your body. No matter your exposure to yoga or your reason for practicing, it is my intention to encourage you to reach beyond perceived limitations to experience the innate ease of being that is your True Nature.

The business piece of being an independent yoga professional has also grown. I have learned that it requires a lot more than being a good yoga teacher to run a successful yoga business. I am starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel that inspired me to aspire to such a vision. I feel momentum beneath my wings but teeter at the edge of the nest wondering if they are strong enough to carry me. If you are inclined, you can help keep me afloat by mentioning me and my business when interacting with your community and professional network. I appreciate your word of mouth referrals tremendously. To make your job a little easier I am now offering 2 weeks of UNLIMITED YOGA for $20. This is primarily a new member special, but as a thank you, I would like to extend this one time incentive to you as well. Lastly, if you have a website and are interested in a link exchange to increase search engine visibility, please let me know as I have recently added a Community Page to my website and would be happy to list your business or service and feature you in my newsletter.

In gratitude,

LauraNidra

A Common Thread

A little over a year ago I returned from three months of travel in Bali and Australia. The time spent outside of my ‘yogasphere’ proved rich and rewarding. I put a few of the nuggets I dredged out of the stream of my consciousness into my pocket to be worked smooth like my great grandmother’s worry stone. While some are still jagged with neglect, repression and hard-wired tendencies, others are showing glimmers of their True Nature. I am simultaneously the mineral and the process revealing it, distinct but not separate, layered with the mud of identification and attachment, yet essentially and irreversibly super shinny and bright. Heat (tapas), the physical and mental discipline exerted in the practice of yoga, is the seat of the alchemical fire that converts base metal into gold.

Sometimes I reel from all the hot pokers I have in the coals; my practice, my community and my family keep me putting one foot in front of the other. I’ve stopped looking for the end of the proverbial path because it’s really all about the here and now. I don’t imagine that I’ll ever stop shedding my skin and, if I do, I can trust one of you will get me with a hot poker of my own design. I am grateful.

This article was to be focused on yoga for climbers. Clearly I digress, but there truly is a connection, albeit tenuous, that led me down the above rabbit hole. Mainly, that one of the gems I took from my time Down Under was the desire to remain connected to the Earth upon my return to Seattle. Oddly enough, my re-entry was marked by a house-sitting job worlds away from the little caravan in a Eucalyptus grove outside of Gympie Australia - an ultra modern condominium on the corner of 5^th & Mercer, complete with a view of the Space Needle. I don’t have much Earth in my astrological chart, I am steamy combination of fire and water. I realize now that this is why a sense of place and home has always been so important to me. Even when halfway around the world, I seek comfort in routine and foundation in the familiar. The WOOFing (Willing Workers on Organic Farms) experience took this recognition a step further into the literal; a heartfelt longing to feel the place we all call home between my toes and to revel in the majesty of Her greatness. This intention has manifested several opportunities to do so via the support of my community and a willingness to say YES to the universe. Of course, whether it be the Whitewater Rafting & Yoga Trip with Winding Waters Rafting, the Yoga Day Hike with KAF Adventures or the upcoming Cycling & Yoga Tour with Bicycle Adventures, yoga is the common thread running through each meeting with the Mother Nature.

The list of yoga’s benefits have been well know and understood by yogis across the centuries. In the last decade, however, yoga’s merit has captured the attention of the general public giving it a prominence in nearly every Seattle neighborhood. Yoga’s notoriety has also caught the attention of several Olympic athletes such as Olympic Freestyle Skier Emily Cook. As a retired gymnast, and even as a retired waitress, I am acutely aware of the numerous ways that yoga complements, counters and enhances the physical demands of any form repetitive movement. The harmony of yoga with other disciplines, be it computer engineering, gardening or dancing, extend beyond the physical. In mind and spirit, yoga is especially suited for outdoor activities like backpacking, rock climbing, surfing and cycling.

Yoga Day Hike with LauraNidra Yoga & KAF Adventures

On September 12, 2009 I co-led a Yoga Day Hike with Mick Pearson of KAF Adventures. Our group trekked up Mt Rainier, beyond Comet Falls, to Van Trump Park in silence allowing a natural heightening of the senses to take place. Breath by breath, step by step, we enjoyed the journey and learned of one another through subtle body and energetic language.

Trekking in Silence - Yoga Day Hike

Attentive to how our presence affected the natural landscape, the backdrop for our yoga practice was Mt. Rainier, larger than life, piercing the clear blue sky. With Mt. Adams to the North we took our seats and began our yoga practice. Practicing on uneven ground with small eight-legged creatures paying visits to your mat adds another layer to the moving meditation. Our practice focused on countering the heat and strength generated in the legs on the uphill climb with deep outer hip, hip flexor and quadriceps stretches and countered the weight of the backpack with twists, chest and shoulder openers. As always, this class can be modified to suite the needs of individual practitioners.

Reclined Bound Angle Pose - Supta Baddha Konasana

Our practice began on the back in Reclined Bound Angle Pose (Supta Baddha Konasana) to give the body-mind time to transition and open to the effects of both the hike and the ensuing yoga practice. Our warm up included the old standbys, Lounge Pigeon and Reclined Leg-Stretch Pose (Supta Padangusthasana). We then made our way to all fours for Cat/Cow, Thread the Needle and a chest/shoulder opener I know as Anahata Vishuddasana (referring to the energy centers/areas of the body it stimulates, the heart and throat respectively). After a long pause in Cobra (Bhujangasana) to breathe space into the hip flexors we moved into Downward Dog (Adho Mukha Svanasana), an excellent pose for simultaneously strengthening and stretching the entire body.

Downward Facing Dog - Adho Mukha Svanasana. Photo Credit: Britney Bollay Bush

A short standing sequence followed, including Crescent Lunge (Chandrasana), Revolved Crescent Lunge (Parivrtta Chandrasana), Wide Legged Forward Fold (Prasarita Padottanasana) Side Lunge (Skandasana).

Standing Sequence - Yoga Day Hike to Van Trump Park, Mt. Rainier, WA.

Crescent Lunge - Chandrasana. Photo Credit: Cameron Karsten Photography

Side Lunge - Skandasana (Advanced Variation). Photo Credit: Cameron Karsten Photography

At the top of the mat we took Standing Bound Forward Bend (Baddha Uttanasana) then countered the deep forward bend with Upward Facing Plank variation or Half Backbend (Ardha Urdhva Danurasana). We countered the counter with Downward Facing Frog (Ahdo Mukha Bhekasana).

Half Backbend - Ardha Urdhva Danurasana. Photo Credit: Cameron Karsten Photography.

I rarely teach a class that doesn’t include Reclined Pigeon (Eka Pada Raja Kapotasana), an often intense outer hip (rotator) opener. Pigeon morphed into Seated Head to Knee Pose (Janu Sirasana) on both sides and, with a jump through to our seat, we glided into Bound Angle (Baddha Konasana). We finished on our backs with a gentle Supine Twist (Jatara Parivartanasana) and took a long rest in Final Relaxation Pose (Savasana).

Final Relaxation Pose - Savasana

The sound of three OMs melding with the hum of the waterfall behind us and natural vibration of our spectacular setting broke our collective silence. Together we journeyed back down the Mountain, full of life and vigor, I myself, keenly aware that we are where we are because of where we’ve been.

Look for more Outdoor Yoga Excursions with LauraNidra Yoga and friends including Winding Waters Rafting, KAF Adventures and Bicycle Adventures by subscribing to LauraNidra News.

Trip Notes

Winding Waters Rafting & Yoga Retreat on the Salmon River, Idaho

August 17th - 21st 2009

Notes and recollections recorded by Rob Brooks (no dates or times - we’re on river time):

Day 1 – Fear, doubts, new experiences…

Put in at Pine Bar and get wet…

Matt did his first set of rapids… he was jostled, drenched, and wondered if the guide knew what he was doing

Elizabeth was petrified and exhilarated after riding the first rapid on a raft… her infectious laugh made everyone smile

Penny, the geologist, was a font of river knowledge and lore… her mantra for handling the raft is ‘face my danger and be ready to back away with my strong pull stroke

Gail let the yellow jackets eat her grape, called them her environmental friends, and enjoyed shared spirit with natural creatures, especially the mating dragonflies

Scott enjoyed watching Craig’s challenge of getting back into his kayak after the first time he fell out, and seeing a million stars in the sky at night

Christy enjoyed falling asleep and waking up under the stars

Rob (Frisbee Boy) hit the wall in the rapids and managed to push off and stay in his kayak (upright)… brought out a Frisbee and managed to get hit on the nose with it… Craig (Mother Theresa of the trip) applied bacitracin ointment for the rest of the week

Shannon had a perfect Pine Bar Rapid run, and enjoyed naming Rob ‘Frisbee Boy’

Craig had fun helping everyone do handstands on a chair and sharing his supply of Monvie with anyone who would let him pour it down their throat

Putting up tents for the first time was amusing… how does this pole go through and over there?

James did a perfect job of cooking the wild Alaskan salmon

Yvonne enjoyed the fabulous dinner and making new friends

Laura enjoy singing around the campfire (everyone knew one verse – but only one - of dozens of songs), geology lesson, and petroglyphs… she didn’t enjoy getting stung by a wasp, whose sting troubled her for the rest of the week (environmental friends???)

Penny enjoyed watching everyone get into ‘relax mode’

Day 2 - Gaining Confidence and Skill

Laura fell out of her kayak in Lorna’s Lulu rapid headed for a big wall… in less than 5 seconds, she was back in the kayak, skirted disaster with deft paddle strokes, avoided the wall, and shot on down the rapid (which was renamed ‘Laura’s Lulu’)… she celebrated by doing Upward Facing Plank on her duckie… the best Craig could do to match that was Lounge Pigeon

Elizabeth enjoyed the feeling of power on her first duckie kayak ride… like everyone, she really liked the yoga circle that Todd and Paul made, especially the rock pile at the center with seven stones representing the seven chakras

Piloting raft #1 alone while Paul and Scott were swimming a rapid, Rob lost an oar… Matt came to the rescue and retrieved the oar and Rob was able to row the raft out of a big eddy…

We spotted a beaver on a rock by the edge of the river

Day 3 - Getting Into the Groove (or out of it)

Rob’s Eveready Battery ran down and he really started to relax… always the first one up, he enjoyed watching the sun coming up over the east canyon wall, as the shadows of the night disappeared down the west canyon wall… then solo yoga on a rock above camp and by the river’s edge… there’s something special about yoga in the wild… you see the world differently… the river is always there, ever present, ever changing… the valley is the vessel that holds it, just as I am the vessel that holds my ever changing life… there are rapids and eddies, deep currents and shallow bars, and it flows on until it reaches the ocean, to be reincarnated as clouds, rain, snow, a creek, a river, a spring… it is a ‘magic carpet’day… meditating alone by the river, I fly out over the river on my magic carpet… lying in savasana after yoga, I fly down a rapid on the energy that flows from the river…

On the river it is a ‘big water’ day… class 4 rapids

Gail is the mermaid… kayaking and swimming all day… sitting on a rock in the river she is the incarnation of the mermaid statue that grace Copenhagen’s harbor

Christy has a ball in the kayak… has a class 4 rapid ‘out of boat experience’ but manages to hang onto her paddle; with help from Craig and Scott, she is back in her kayak and ready for the next rapid

Nathan discovered a new form of pranayama practice… when your kayak turns over, you stick your head up into it and breathe… ‘sub-duckie pranayama’

The weather got warmer and everyone enjoyed the ‘marination station’ at lunch…

Laura’s wasp sting got bigger

Matt spent the whole day in a kayak… it was ‘bodacious’, and Yvonne swam, swam, swam

Craig joined Todd and James on the gear boat and rowed it all morning… awesome fun, even backwards

By evening everyone was pretty worn out… we even skipped evening yoga… enjoyed solar showers and Shannon pulled out the cutest ‘little black dress’, yes, even on a river rafting trip…we enjoyed margaritas (aka riveritas) and fajitas, and especially peach cobbler out of the dutch oven… by 9PM everyone fell asleep to the roar of the river and the twinkling of the stars…

Day 4 – Old Hands on the River

James joins yoga practice for the first time… he does incredibly well for a yoga newbie…

Special breakfast… eggs benedict… mmmm…

Laura and Elizabeth set out to bring sleeping pads down to the beach to load up on the rafts, but end up making a slide down the steep sandy bank… playful otters…

Warm weather, so it’s another marination station lunch…

Rob and Matt shared the day on the Good n’ Plenty with Shannon… learned about raft housekeeping (no sand on this raft), doing the jaguar in the rapids to keep the bow of the light raft down (and have fun in the spray)… Shannon manages her raft remarkably with short efficient oar strokes… being a dancer gives her great propriocentation… but not quite enough to keep her from toppling over helping Rob get back into the raft after a swim in a rapid… the Eveready Battery showed signs of life and he flew into the raft as if the river had ejected him… then it was Rob’s turn to pull Matt in… he made sure that Matt got all the way in, and then some, and poor Matt was afraid he was going to be shoved through the bottom of the raft…

Everyone enjoyed jumping from a 30’ cliff into the river, hearts racing… even cool, calm, gymnast Laura had to step back from the edge for a moment to regain her composure before she could jump… this was the first time Shannon got to do the jump…

Craig was getting dehydrated by the end of the day, and we reached campsite just in time… Elizabeth found a little rattlesnake in the rocks by the swimming hole…

This was a special evening… great campsite at the entrance to Blue Canyon… we all started with a hike to a hilltop nearby and a great view of the canyon… hilltop was a little too small and rocky for yoga… James impressed everyone by hiking the hill barefoot… later waxed eloquent on the benefits of running barefoot…

Dinner was extra good… vegetable curry and good wine… toasts all around (great wines from Matt and Yvonne) and dutch oven brownies for dessert… finished off with shots of Jaegermeister courtesy of Nathan…

Those who stayed up late enough enjoy Todd’s late show… adult light show shadow puppets on the latrine screen… Elizabeth laughed until tears were running down her face…

Everyone slept out of tents… lots of shooting starts and the milky way was extra bright…

Day 5 – Confluence and Farewell

An early start, and the whole crew in a good mood… almost everyone has been in the water so much that they feel like they’re rocking to the waves even when they’re sitting still… the narrow canyon and rapid river flow bring on vertigo, and a sense that the river is standing still and the canyon walls are moving…

A few more fast rapids, and then the confluence with the Snake… lash the rafts together, deflate the duckies, and motor down the big river… actually, there were a few more rapids, and Paul again demonstrated his superb river skills navigating the ‘barge’ through them…

Just past the confluence with the Grand Ronde, we return to civilization… hop in the van for and back to Clarkston… quick farewells and the experience is over… or is it?

Pictures of this Retreat will be posted at LauraNidra Yoga shortly...

Underwater Love

Stepping back into life after a nourishing and transformative retreat can parallel navigating a class four rapid; scouting the run prior to putting-in is recommended. When genuinely open to the retreat experience, the ‘to-do’ lists that clutter and fill my fast- paced urban lifestyle, fade away. Attention is now free to explore the moment-to-moment unfolding of my existence. In the beats between I am succinctly aware of the awesomeness of my perfectly unique experience while humbled to the omnipotence of Mother Nature. And so it was with the Rafting & Yoga Retreat I co-lead with Winding Waters Rafting of Joseph, Oregon.

A teachers once said that energy follows attention and that attention, at its core, is Love. So hard did I fall for the majesty of the Salmon River that upon my return to Seattle I felt a stranger to my self-identified city girl reality – naked and disoriented. On the massage table a few days later I realized that I had essentially left a piece of my Self on the river. The image of a piece of my heart quite literally flying out of my body to commune in the wilderness sent ripples down my spine. And what of the vacancy sign flashing in my chest? Lyrics from the Postal Service song titled “Such Great Heights” chime in:

I am thinking it’s a sign that the freckles in our eyes are mirror images and when we kiss they perfectly align. And I have to speculate that God himself did make us into corresponding shapes like puzzle pieces from the clay.

Is that what love is? A Donnie Darko style worm flowing from my chest toward a reciprocal sized portal in another? Is that why after a break-up the clichéd, “I’ll always carry a piece of you in my heart” is universally understood, even by the cynic. One Valentine’s Day a lover sent me an anonymous story chronicling the valor of the heart’s trials and tribulations:

One day a young man was stood in the middle of the town proclaiming that he had the most beautiful heart in the whole valley. A large crowd gathered to admired his heart, for it was perfect. There was not a mark or a flaw in it. Yes, they all agreed it truly was the most beautiful heart they had ever seen. The young man was very proud and boasted more loudly.

Suddenly, an old man appeared at the front of the crowd and said, "Why your heart is not nearly as beautiful as mine."

The crowd and the young man looked at the old man's heart. It was beating strongly, but full of scars, it had places where pieces had been removed and other pieces put in, but they didn't fit quite right and there were several jagged edges. In fact, in some places there were deep gouges where whole pieces were missing.

The people stared. “How can he say that his heart is more beautiful?”

The young man looked at the state of the old man's heart and laughed. “You must be joking," he said. "Compare your heart with mine, mine is perfect and yours is a mess of scars and tears."

"Yes," said the old man, "Yours is perfect looking but I would never trade with you. You see, every scar represents a person to whom I have given my love. I tear out a piece of my heart and give it to them, and often they give me a piece of their heart which fits into the empty place in my heart, but because the pieces aren't exact, I have some rough edges, which I cherish, because they remind me of the love we shared. Sometimes I have given pieces of my heart away, and the other person hasn't returned a piece of his heart to me. These are the empty gouges . . . giving love is taking a chance. Although these gouges are painful, they stay open, reminding me of the love I have for these people too, and I hope someday they may return and fill the space I have waiting.

“So now do you see what true beauty is?"

The young man stood silently with tears running down his cheeks. He walked up to the old man, reached into his perfect young and beautiful heart and ripped a piece out. He offered it to the old man with trembling hands. The old man took his offering, placed it in his heart and then took a piece from his scarred heart and placed it in the wound of the young man's heart. It fit, but not perfectly, as there were some jagged edges.

The young man looked at his heart, not perfect anymore but more beautiful than ever, since love from the old man's heart flowed into his. They embraced and walked away side by side.

How sad it must be to go through life with a whole heart.

As a romantic, I have been know to wax poetically key lines from Baz Lurhman’s Romeo & Juliet and Moulin Rouge but my idea of love has evolved beyond Cameron Crowe’s “You complete me.” I prefer the image of two neighboring trees, strong and rooted in and of themselves, creating a intricate canopy of multi-colored leaves and curvaceous limbs overhead. And in between, where the sky breaks through, the eternal dance of offering and receiving, the microcosm and the macrocosm and all the shades of blue along the way.

The River, a consistent and generous lover, always gives back. I would argue the same is true of all relationships of any label if we are willing to see beyond the duality of positive and negative experience and welcome what is. It is a matter of trust. Faith that we are right where we need to be and life, like scars and wrinkles, give us character.

In Greek philosophy and science water is commonly associated with emotion and intuition. In Wiccan tradition water represents wisdom, the soul and femininity. And then there is the Moon. Its no small wonder the retreat so powerfully touched my soul, honed my intuition and resulted in these ruminations on love.

In the dream realm rivers can symbolize a journey; either physical, emotional or spiritual. On the last day of our distinct, but not separate, journey down the Salmon River we eddied out at the confluence of the Snake & Salmon Rivers. Twenty plus flotilla miles later the retreat would come to an end but for the time being we were together moved to offer and give back to the River. Honoring the interconnectedness of all things we harmonized our voices and let the wind and the current take its vibration out into the universe. Our bodies and our hearts close to follow we fell back into the river, cool and cleansing, and like the swan in Rilke’s poem, content to be carried.

The laboring through what is still undone, as though, legs bound, we hobbled along the way, is like the awkward walking of the swan.

And to die - which is the letting go of the ground we stand on and cling to every day, is like the swan, when he nervously lets himself down into the water, which receives him gaily and which flows joyfully under and after him,

wave after wave,

while the swan, unmoving and marvelously calm,

is pleased to carried, each moment more fully grown,

more like a king, further and further on.

I’ll keep floating on with a therapist of the both the physical and emotional leaning in tow to help me ground and integrate my experience and put it into these words.

Photos of this Retreat will be posted to LauraNidra Yoga shortly....